


The Truth in Somalia

by HartKins



Category: Holby City
Genre: AU, F/F, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2020-08-23 09:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20240566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HartKins/pseuds/HartKins
Summary: Bernie survived the explosion and now she's reaching out to her family and friends.A continuation of the Weekly Berena FixTruthfic.





	1. Serena's email to Bernie

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I got some requests to continue my [Truth](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17282399/chapters/47415100/) fic from 2 weeks ago so I thought I'd put it in a separate work. I'm not sure how many chapters it's going to have, but I'm excited to get writing. Fingers crossed I keep on top of this one!
> 
> This first chapter was written before last week's episode aired so pretend you haven't seen that episode yet!

When Serena finally sat down at her computer at home to respond to Bernie’s email, she was dreading it. She was dressed in her comfiest pajamas and made sure to have a large glass of Shiraz beside her. She looked over the notes she took earlier before hitting the reply button on Bernie’s email.

_Dear Bernie,_

_Where do I begin? I’m shocked that I’ve received an email from you. Even though Alex said that they found your body armor and not your body, I still believed her. I’m glad you’re alive, so glad. I do hope you’re safe wherever you are. I can’t wait until Cameron finds out that you’re alive, he’s been having such a tough time, as you can imagine. Why did you decide to follow that secret agent? I’m so happy you did, I’m just curious as to why you chose to. With everything that is going on in the world, I’d be hesitant to follow a stranger._

_Alex said you & she were engaged, I now know that’s false, but how did she get your journal? Did she steal it from you or did you give it to her to give to me?_

_I’m still so shocked about all of this so I don’t know what else to say or ask. Again, I’m glad you’re alive and I do hope you’re safe. Take care._

_Serena x_

Serena didn’t know what else to say, the wine affecting her thoughts a bit and she didn’t want to say something she would regret later. She was happy with what she wrote. A tear of happiness ran down her cheek as she sent the email before shutting her computer off and heading to bed. She didn’t know what the tear meant but she knew could sleep a bit easier knowing Bernie was alive. She couldn’t wait until Bernie could tell Cameron, she knew how the boy felt because it’s never easy losing a loved one, especially a parent. She hoped Cameron wouldn’t have to wait too long before hearing from Bernie.


	2. Bernie's text to Cameron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie is finally able to tell her kids the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here's the next chapter! This one was a bit easier to write for some reason, maybe because I want all of this to be real instead of what we got on tv?

Cameron had been struggling since he found out Bernie was MIA 45 days ago. Work was stressful and the Chloe & Even thing was exhausting him. He just wanted to talk to someone. He knew he didn’t want to talk to his father because of how he acted at Bernie’s visitation. He didn’t want to talk to Charlotte because of several reasons plus, she wouldn’t understand what he was going through. He just wanted to talk to his mother.

During one of his breaks, Cameron thought about the text he sent to Bernie over 2 months ago. He decided to take a moment in the locker room so he grabbed his phone out of the pocket of his scrubs and opened his mum’s thread.

The day was here. Bernie was finally able to tell Cameron & Charlotte that she was still alive. She didn’t know why she told Serena instead of her kids when she wasn’t supposed to. Maybe the right words for Serena came before the ones for her children. She knew it was dangerous, but she just HAD to tell someone.

Before she opened up her messages to text Cameron, she opened her email and composed a new email to Serena. I’m telling Cam, was all that she typed before she hit send. She didn’t need to tell Serena anything else.

Bernie reread her text from Cameron. She had cherished that message for 45 days. She read it every night before drifting off to sleep and it took everything she had not to reply like she so desperately wanted to. She took a deep breath before her thumbs pressed the touch screen.

Two seconds after Cameron clicked on Bernie’s message thread, the three gray dots appeared on the bottom left of the screen. His heart jumped, he couldn’t believe it. He thought he was dreaming. Was this his mum or did someone finally find her phone and was replying out of commiseration. He immediately began typing, not even waiting for the person to send a message.

_Mum? Is that you?_

Bernie received the text before she could even get a full sentence typed so she erased her words and responded.

_Yes, darling, it’s me_

Cameron broke down crying for the second time that day, except the tears were ones of joy and relief. He wanted so badly to just call his mum, but he didn’t have enough time. His only option was to sit and watch the gray dots dance as he waited for his mum’s message.

_I’m alive and safe, Cameron. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I wasn’t able to. Before the explosion happened, an officer approached me and told me to follow him. He looked official, so I didn’t ask any questions. I took my body armor off and did what I was told. I’m a secret agent now. I can’t tell you who I work for, but I promise you that I am in a safe location._

_I’m so sorry you had to be in pain and have the fear of not knowing for so long. I wish I could’ve told you right away. I even begged my new boss, but he said it would put me, the company, and even you in danger._   
_ I’ve never stopped thinking about you & Charlotte. I have read your text every night since you sent it and I love you so much._

_And I’m sorry for everything you went through with Alex. She has no idea where I am and I don’t plan on telling her. We were working together 2 weeks before the attack and the whole time she tried to get me to crawl back to her. I turned her down multiple times because I’m still very much in love with Serena._

_How is Charlotte doing? I plan to tell her about all of this when I find the right words._

_I miss you so much, and I hope you understand why I had to wait to tell you. I love you, darling and I hope to talk to you soon xx_

Cameron couldn’t believe what he was reading. Not only was his mother alive, but she was also a secret agent! He had so many questions, he didn’t know where to start. Before he could reply, Lofty popped his head inside the locker room to tell him his patient in Bed 3 was ready for theatre. Instead of leaving his mother unanswered, he quickly sent her a message before stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

_Oh my god, I can’t believe this. I can’t talk right now, but I love you and miss you too xx_

After a successful operation, Cameron made his way back to AAU. His mind still racing with questions about his mum being alive. He needed to tell someone. Anyone.

As he walked past Serena’s office, he noticed her sitting there so he lightly knocked on the open door.

“How did it go in theatre?” Serena asked once Cameron sat down on the couch.

“Good, no complications.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Something on your mind?” She could see something was bothering him. She knew what it was, but she was waiting for him to tell her.

“You’re not going to believe this, but my mum is alive,” he said, still in shock himself.

“Oh my god! Really?!” Serena gasped, making sure to seem like she was hearing the news for the first time. She didn’t dare tell Cameron that she had known for several weeks, it wouldn’t be fair to him. “That’s fantastic!” She got up out of her seat and over to the couch to hug him, showing how happy she was for him.

“Yeah. I found out before going into theatre. I still can’t believe it,” he chuckled.

“Did she email you or call? How did you find out?” She was curious if Bernie emailed him as she did for her.

“I was looking at the text I sent her the night I found out she was MIA and the grey dots appeared, saying that she was replying,” he said. “I didn’t believe it at first. I thought it was someone that had maybe found her phone and was replying out of pity,” he continued. “I asked if it was her and I got a response straight away before she told me everything.

“What did she say?” Serena wanted to know all that Bernie told Cameron and if he was allowed to say anything, unlike herself.

“She couldn’t tell me much, but she promised me that she was in a safe location,” he lied. He wanted the information to be just between and his mum. He was tired of being the last one to know about things. This was something he could keep to himself, for who knows how long. He didn’t even want to tell his sister. He was glad Bernie would be telling her eventually but for now, it was just his little secret.

“I’m so glad. Thank you for telling me, Cameron. It means a lot,” she said as she hugged him once more.

Serena had to settle for what little information Cameron gave her. She knew the truth about Bernie, she didn’t need to pry it out of her son.

Cameron would reply to his mother when he was at home in bed. Away from any distractions and where he could focus and tell his mother how happy he was that she was alive. And a secret agent!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this one! I've decided I'm going to wait to write Cameron's reply next month so I can count it for nano.


	3. Bernie's email to Charlotte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie has told Serena & Cameron that she's alive, now it's time to tell her daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!! NaNoWriMo has started so I'll be writing and posting more fics!

Bernie didn’t know how to approach Charlotte about her being alive. Their relationship had turned sour when Marcus told her he was divorcing her mother. Bernie felt it wasn’t greatest even before then, and she blamed herself entirely. She knew she had to be the one to tell Charlotte because her daughter would hate her forever if it came from Cameron or even Marcus. Oh yeah, Marcus. Bernie would have to tell him eventually. That’s assuming that Cameron hadn’t already. She would save that for a different day. She had no idea how to tell her daughter, and she had a lesser idea of how to tell her ex-husband, the father of her children.

She knew she wanted to email Charlotte instead of texting her. It just felt more personal to Bernie and she could write as much as she wanted without worrying about going over the character limit if there was such a thing. She had a hard time just clicking on the email app on her phone. This was going to be difficult for her. Telling Cameron first helped because she could use the same explanation, but she would have to be more gentle with Charlotte.

_My beautiful Charlotte,_

_It’s your mum. I’m alive, darling, and I’m safe. I escaped the explosion and I couldn’t tell anyone, but I’m allowed to tell you now. Let me explain._

_Right before the explosion happened, an officer approached me and told me to follow him. He looked like he knew what he was saying, so I followed him, and I am so thankful I did because I know I wouldn’t be here writing this email to you if I had stayed there. I am in a safe location that I can’t tell you about, but I promise that I’m safe._

_I’m a secret agent now. I can’t tell you who I’m working for or much of anything, but I’m in no danger. I’m so sorry you had to live with the fear of not knowing for so long. I can’t imagine how you felt, the pain you were in. I can’t promise you anything, but I hope to come back to Holby soon. I miss you so much, sweetheart._

_How is Cameron doing? I’d like to tell him all of this myself. If you do see him before I tell him, please give him a hug. I know you 2 got my farewell letters because when I asked for my things, they were missing. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. My boss at the hospital was supposed to hold onto everything since I was still declared MIA. You weren’t supposed to get those yet, and I prayed you would never see them. I’m not dead, Charlotte, and I’m not going to die. Not for a long time._

_I hope to hear from you soon. I love you so much._

_Mum xx_

Bernie had tears in her eyes when she typed the kisses. She quickly took a deep breath and sent the email, not wanting to give herself time to erase the whole thing, like she wanted to deep down. She loved her children, of course, she did, but she had a hard time reaching out to them, even when she was at Holby. Cameron was easy since they worked together and she loved every second of it. She wished she could’ve seen Charlotte more, there were times that she begged her daughter to visit her, but Charlotte was a lot like her mother, stubborn as hell. She would say she was too old to need her mother and that she was an independent woman. Bernie couldn’t argue with her because she did the same exact thing to her mother, but she didn’t expect Charlotte to tell her that she wasn’t a mother to her the day she got back from one of her last tours. It hurt Bernie, it nearly killed her. She spent her time off drowning herself in liquor. Her precious daughter made her feel worthless and she was to blame. If Charlotte didn’t email her back, she would understand.

When the IED hit and she came back to Holby unexpectedly, they had mended their relationship, it wasn’t as good as the one with Cam, but it was better. Eventually, Charlotte forgave her mother for leaving her & Cameron when they were little, and understood that she was just trying to provide for her family, dangerously, but when did Bernie do anything that was safe?

The last Christmas Bernie had with Serena was special, Bernie didn’t know it at the time, but it would be the last one with everyone together. With Elinor’s sudden death a month later, Christmas was never the same after that. Bernie enjoyed every second having her kids and Serena’s family all in one room.

Maybe if she didn’t reply, she could get Cameron to help, give her a nudge without her finding out that he knew before her.

As Bernie set her phone down and got into bed for the night, tears rolled down her face as she thought about how she nearly lost her life and lost her children for good. She knew they were safe and soon she would be able to see them and hug them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was okay. It's hard writing a character you've never seen or heard speak.


	4. Bernie's reply to Serena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena asked questions and now Bernie has to answer them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter! I'm thinking of finishing the rest of this fic within the next couple of days because I'm getting tired of writing it.....
> 
> I might've gotten some info wrong because I didn't feel like going back to the other chapters to check things.

When Bernie read the email from Serena, she was glad to see that Serena wasn’t mad at her for keeping the information from her. Serena was pretty understanding no matter what the situation was. Bernie was excited that she could tell Serena that she had told her kids, that is if Cameron hadn’t told her already.

She had several questions from Serena to answer and she knew it was going to take a lot of thinking so she made sure to have a cup of tea and some biscuits next to her.

She wasn’t afraid of telling Serena the truth, but so much happened between her & Alex and she wanted to make sure Serena knew that they weren’t together. Cameron had told her everything that happened when Alex was there and it made Bernie furious. Why did Alex put Bernie’s kids and Serena through all of this? If she could, Bernie would email Alex and give her a piece of her mind, but she was only allowed to tell her children and one other person about where she was and she sure as hell was not going to tell Alex. If she did, Alex would find a way to track Bernie and would probably get them both killed if she showed up. Honestly, Bernie needed to get a restraining order against Alex Dawson because she has been nothing but trouble to her since the day Bernie met her.

As Bernie sat at her new desk with her very own laptop, she opened the email app and composed a new email to Serena.

_Dear Serena,_

_Thank you so much for responding to my email, it really meant a lot._

_Let me start by saying that Alex lies and manipulates. She found out that I was in Somalia by my commanding officer. She asked if I was with the group and I thought she wanted to come work with us because she knew we needed an anesthetist, but that was a lie. She heard about our break up somehow and she just wanted to get back together with me. I told her we weren’t getting back together and I thought she would leave, but she stayed. She decided to leave after 2 weeks because she realized I wasn’t going to break and get back with her. I didn’t hear from her after she had left._

_I think she told those lies about being engaged because she had hoped of getting my money or belongings. She knew I had some valuable jewelry and thought she would get it if she told people we were engaged. What she didn’t know was that I had written a will years ago and all of my belongings get distributed between my children._

_I think she stole my journal. I was informed that I would be getting my stuff back within the week, which I did, but the journal wasn’t in there. I don’t know how she was able to get it because everyone knew we weren’t together so there would’ve been no reason for anyone to give it to her. Again, she probably manipulated someone into giving it to her. I wouldn’t have had her give it to you, I wanted to be the one to show you those drawings of your garden, I’m sure you’ve seen those, yes?_

_To answer your question about why I followed that officer. Honestly, I have no idea. A lot of me was telling me it was a bad idea and I was probably going to end up murdered, but there was a part of me deep down that said he wasn’t dangerous. At first, I thought that someone was hurt and that they needed my assistance. I took my body armor off because I wouldn’t have been able to get past the guards with it on. I had to look like a civilian so the officer gave me some sunglasses and a hat to get me out of the hospital. We were 100 feet from the doors of the building when the explosion happened. I got some scratches, but nothing serious. As we drove away from the site, tears formed in my eyes because I had just left my patients and colleagues to die, but someone was watching over me and telling me I had to get out of there. I’ve been in the Army long enough that survivor's guilt doesn’t affect me as badly as I’ve heard it can, which I’m thankful for that._

_I’ve told Charlotte that I’m alive. I said the same things to her as I did Cameron and didn’t go into any details. I’m hoping that I will be able to share more with them, and I really hope I can come back to Holby and see them if it’s only for a couple of days._

_Thank you again for replying to my email. I hope we can still keep in touch because I’d like to hear how Cameron is doing since he doesn’t tell me much. You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re able to keep an eye on him for me. I’m so glad he has you to look after him. I know he’s an adult and more than capable to take care of himself, but sometimes he just needs some extra help. He’s been a handful since he was a teenager. He was the good child when he & Charlotte were little and then all of a sudden they switched roles. Charlotte is still difficult, but I can at least get through to her when she lets me. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t go on and on about my children._

_How’s Jason & Greta? I bet Guinevere is getting so big._

_Everything at Holby okay? I really miss everyone there._

_I hope you’re doing well. Take care._

_Bernie x_

Bernie let out a sigh when she sent the email. If she was honest with herself, which she rarely was, she still loved Serena. They had been through so much together and for all of that to get thrown away all because of, ironically, garbage cans really made Bernie mad. It hurt her deeply. She got so depressed and even thought about ending her life. What kept her living was the thought of her children without their mother. That had always kept her going during tours when they were tough.

Serena meant everything to her and she thought she meant everything to Serena, but for her to break Bernie’s heart like that made Bernie question everything she knew in her life.

Tears appeared in her eyes as she got up from her desk. Thoughts of her children and the ex-love of her life were overwhelming her and she just had to lie down somewhere.

She went to bed that night thinking only of her children and she prayed that she would get to see them soon. All of the tours she went on and all of the months she’d been away from her children throughout their lives, this moment was the hardest for Bernie. Maybe because she was so close to death. Maybe because she’s all alone and has no one else to think about. She hoped that one day she would finally find someone that loved her for who she was and what she loved to do and that she would feel the same way about them because she really did love traveling the world and saving lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 more chapters left I think. Bernie's told everybody and I'm getting to all of their responses. I haven't quite decided what's gonna happen in the last chapter but it should be happy!


	5. Cameron's reply

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cameron is finally able to take time and reply to Bernie's message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I lied. I didn't get the 3 chapters written yet....I at least got one done though! This one is shorter than the rest, sorry!

As Cameron laid in bed rereading his text from his mother, he still couldn’t believe what he was reading. She was alive, and she was a secret agent!

He tried to type a reply, but his thumbs wouldn’t work. So many thoughts ran through his head, he had so many questions that he was sure Bernie couldn’t answer right now.

_Hi mum. You don’t know how happy I am to hear from you. I’ve been beaming all day at work. I just can’t believe that you’re alive. I have so many questions to ask you, but I’m sure you won’t be able to answer all of them._

_First off, I’m glad to know that you’re somewhere safe. This might be the first time in my life that I’ve heard those words from you while you’re on tour. I was always afraid that you were in a really dangerous place, which you were, and I wanted nothing more than to get a letter or email saying that you were completely safe._

_I’m just in shock about all of this if I’m honest. I think my question to everything that has happened between the explosion and Alex coming to Holby is why? Why did you follow the officer? Why did you think you could trust him? Why did he choose you to be the one to save? And why, or I guess, how did you become a secret agent? If you can’t answer those questions, that’s fine. I just have so many thoughts going through my mind right now._

_The Alex thing was a bloody mess, mom. She’s so awful. If you two weren’t together, why did she tell me that you two were engaged? Did she stalk you after you two broke up? I just don’t understand why she went to all that trouble to come to Holby and tell Serena & I lies when you guys were broken up._

_Charlotte is doing okay. I haven’t talked to her much since the funeral, or whatever the hell that was. She’s been spending a lot of time with dad. I don’t have any interest in talking to that man anymore. He made an embarrassment out of himself during the wake and I just can’t get sucked back into his life again. He tried to make me feel sorry for him that you were dead. Saying stuff like “I’m a widower now.” I’d like to get Charlotte away from that, but she won’t listen to me. If you haven’t told her yet, maybe you can try to talk some sense into her?_

_I hope you’re okay wherever you are and I hope I get to see you one day. I miss you so much, mum xxx_

Cameron stayed on his & Bernie’s message thread until it sent and the ‘delivered’ appeared underneath it. Even though he knew she was alive, he still had this fear that she wasn’t entirely safe. He chalked it up to habit from the fear he’s had in his brain for 20+ years.

When it finally sent, he put his phone on the nightstand and laid down. His mum was alive and that was all that mattered to him. Everything else that was going on in his life could never ruin how happy and relieved he felt knowing that his mum wasn’t dead. He could finally sleep now that he knew she was okay and that he was no longer without his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do need to end this fic soon because things are getting repetitive.

**Author's Note:**

> Surprisingly, that email was harder to write than the other ones. I hope the next ones flow better.
> 
> Sooo is everyone happy to not have to watch Holby every again????? I know I am!!!!!!!!!


End file.
